Lean in-

"For I am doing a work in your time that you would not believe if told"

Habbukuk 1:5

I have gotten myself into a pattern of trying to tell God what to do next in my life. Guess how that works out for me - spoiler alert, it's a low success rate.

I'd love to say that I've learned my lesson, but unfortunately that pattern has deep roots. However the more times I experience the goodness and mercy of the Lord in a new way, the more I realize that He is the only One with an accurate view of what is truly good for me.

Habakkuk was a prophet in scripture who perhaps had similar confusion over God's actions.

He is crying out to the Lord to understand why the Israelites are suffering and other nations are prospering. It doesn't make any sense. Why should the lesser evil nation be suffering? Habakkuk is desperate for answers, and it appears that the Lord is withholding them.

Yet God's momentary silence does not indicate the absence of His hand.

He shows up and speaks to Habakkuk in verse 5, "Look among the nations, and see; wonder and be astounded. For I am doing a work in your days that you would not believe if told."

How many things in our life do we think God is absent from situations while His silence is simply Him doing a work greater than we could have imagined? What if God not answering includes a purpose that goes beyond the belief of our expectations?

I didn't understand why the Lord wasn't providing my answers.

I recently published my first poetry book and I was so excited to see all the ways the Lord was going to show up through that process. I was ready to put in the work of book promotion. I was ready to build up my platforms. I was ready to serve the Lord by stepping into a new type of ministry. Yet it wasn't playing out as expected.

The more I built, the more exhausted I felt. I began to notice my priorities were out of place. I wasn't paying attention to what the Lord was truly asking me to notice in that moment.

Around the same time that my book was launched, all the details came together to for me to serve a 10-week missions internship at a local church in the UK this summer. This opportunity is the exact answer to a prayer I have been praying for a year, and the Lord provided.

But I was so focused on trying to build my spoken word platform that I was not stewarding this opportunity well. I wasn't communicating on time and I was not putting in the necessary work for fundraising that needs done now.

It was humbling to see that the Lord's "silence" was simply Him telling me to pay attention to the correct thing.

So my challenge to you is to pay attention to the things that the Lord is asking you to instead of being angry over His "silence" in another category. It is His grace and kindness to redirect us to the most beneficial thing He has for us. Thank goodness He is patience with us!

In the midst of the Lord redirecting me, I had the opportunity to visit a good friend in California this weekend. The Lord used this trip to fully give me an attitude check. I had the best time reflecting, resting, and adventuring as He slowly directed me to focus on the thing He was inviting me into. He was inviting me to lean in as I took a step back from what I initially wanted.

So I invite you to lean in with me as I become more intentional with sharing what the Lord is teaching me with this blog, with stewarding partner development for my internship, and with whatever He has next!

[If you are interested in partnering alongside me with missions, this link will provide you with more information!]